What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?

“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”

“Faith and begorrah. What a small world. So did I. And to what school would you school would you have been going?”

“Now why would you be saying that, Brian?”

What should I do if I love someone who does not love me?

“So am I. And from where in Ireland might you be?” says the first.

The first fellow is now beside himself. “The good Lord must be smiling on us. Imagine that the two of us should be meeting here, having grown up on the same street, gone to the same school, and graduated in the same year.”

At that point, a woman enters, stands at the other end, and orders a drink. Brian, the bartender says, “Oh, Vicky, it’s going to be a long, tiring night.”

Have you made a female relative or friend squirt?

“Yes, that I am,” says the second.

“Oh, let me see now. ’Twas 1964, it was.”

“As did I,” the first bloke says, getting very excited. “And what year did you graduate?”

Why is money considered to be the root of all evil?

“Mother Mary. And on what street in Dublin did you live?”

Two blokes are sitting at the end of a bar. One orders a drink. The other one says, “From your voice, I’d guess you’re from Ireland.”

“A lovely little area of the old part of town, McCleary Street.”

What happened to The Simpsons deleted onscreen footage?

I’m from Dublin, I am.”

“Well, to St. Mary’s, of course.”